Transforming Connections: How My Diabetes Diagnosis Redefined My Relationships
Receiving a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes can significantly alter your life. It often requires adjustments such as new medications and dietary changes. Moreover, these changes may extend to your personal relationships. Alysse Dalessandro, a well-known advocate for type 2 diabetes, shares her journey of navigating relationship dynamics post-diagnosis, shedding light on lessons learned along the way.
“You have type 2 diabetes.” This statement, delivered by my doctor nine years ago, marked the beginning of an unfamiliar chapter in my life. While I anticipated dietary and lifestyle changes, I had not considered how profoundly my relationships would be affected.
As a plus-size writer and body positivity advocate, I was well aware of the prejudice surrounding type 2 diabetes, especially regarding those living in larger bodies. I was prepared to face trolls online but soon learned that confronting misconceptions in my personal life would be more complex. I quickly realized that I had to become an advocate for myself while fostering understanding in various relationships.
Relationships With Coworkers
“I just ate so many cupcakes, I got diabetes,” a coworker joked from a distance. While the laughter echoed around me, I felt uncomfortable. These remarks, often trivialized as harmless jokes, can impact those living with diabetes deeply. It’s important to recognize that diabetes is not a punchline but a real struggle faced by many.
Initially, I wished I had addressed the misconception and educated my coworkers about diabetes. However, being new to the diagnosis and not having a close relationship with them, I chose to remain silent. This experience taught me to be cautious in disclosing my condition, emphasizing the importance of protecting my peace when interacting in a workplace setting.
Relationships With Friends
“This drink is diabetes in a glass,” a friend remarked, holding a coffee topped with whipped cream. Hearing such statements from close friends can be particularly painful. Fortunately, I knew this friend was genuinely kind and willing to learn. I took the opportunity to explain that sugar consumption does not directly cause diabetes and discussed the genetic factors influencing the condition.
By the end of our conversation, he expressed gratitude for my insights and promised to refrain from making similar comments in the future. This interaction reminded me that addressing misconceptions among friends is beneficial; a true friend will seek to understand and learn about your experiences.
Relationship With Partners
“I’m sure you feel like this is a death sentence,” my partner uttered when I first disclosed my diagnosis of type 2 diabetes. This reaction was far from what I had hoped for and led to the end of our relationship shortly afterward. I spent most of the year after my diagnosis single, allowing me to grieve my previous lifestyle that didn’t include diabetes management.
Fortunately, I later found a partner who shares a common understanding, as she was also diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in her 20s. Our shared experiences have highlighted that diabetes manifests differently for everyone. While we occasionally have the same meals, our blood glucose levels often respond uniquely due to differences in movement, sleep, and stress.
It’s crucial to choose partners who believe in your ability to live a fulfilling life with diabetes and refrain from perpetuating fear about the condition.
Relationships With Family
“Do you really need to eat that?” is a familiar phrase I grew up hearing. In my Italian-American family, there was an expectation to finish everything on my plate. Post-diagnosis, this scrutiny often intensified, leading to more inquiries about my dietary choices. These concerns typically stem from love but can feel overwhelming.
Establishing boundaries is essential in navigating diabetes within a well-meaning but sometimes overly involved family. Engaging with an eating disorder-informed nutritionist has provided me with tools for intuitive eating, enabling me to articulate to my family that I know best about my own body and diabetes management.
Relationship With the Medical System
Having been a plus-size individual since childhood, I am accustomed to the fear-based tactics often used by healthcare professionals to promote weight loss. This issue can lead to dismissal of genuine concerns, with providers suggesting, “just lose weight.” Research indicates that negative biases toward plus-size patients can significantly impact their care.
Deciding to take a weight-neutral approach to diabetes management was pivotal for me. I prioritized managing my A1C levels over focusing solely on weight. Early in my diagnosis, I communicated my history with disordered eating to my primary care physician, requesting a compassionate approach to my diabetes care.
Now, nine years later, my physician understands my perspective and empowers me to advocate for the kind of healthcare and resources I need.
Relationship With Myself
“You teach people how to treat you” resonates with me as I navigate life with diabetes. Gaining confidence in managing my condition has empowered me to demand respectful treatment from others. Understanding the genetic predisposition to diabetes eased my burden of guilt, allowing me to educate others about prevalent misconceptions without spiraling into shame.
Being your own best advocate is vital for those living with diabetes. You are the expert on what impacts your body the most—whether it’s how sleep affects glucose levels or other factors unique to your experience. Remember, no one knows your body better than you do!
